Four Years On from "The Episode"

Smoking far fewer than last year.

Four years ago last night, an undiagnosed and soaring blood pressure “episode” took me to the ER and effectively rewired my nervous system along the left side of my body. As I assess my condition now, my left arm and foot still feel affected but not to the extent of interfering with my concentration as it once did; my sense of balance has improved but remains somewhat affected - suffice to say I take much greater care now when I’m faced with a steep set of stairs. I imagine some nerves in my left inner ear remain impaired, which would explain my persisting if diminished balance issues. I’m now down to two daily BP meds and most lingering issues are negligible/acceptable.

My doctors never could find any sign of a stroke or mini-stroke. (Curiously, they did find evidence of a much older one on the other side of my brain that somehow went unnoticed and undiagnosed at the time.) What caused my nerve damage remains a mystery to the doctors but Donna suspects the problem may have been somehow shingles-related, something she’s had experience with. The tingling numbness that revisits her leg now and then is something I’m now more or less resigned to feeling in my left shoulder and parts of my foot. I’m eating now much more healthfully than I used to, and taking my BP reading daily (at least that’s the goal). I do believe that observing a more sensible diet might have helped me to avoid all this, but no one has been able to point to any one specific cause. The fact is that health fails us all, one way or another, eventually; if we’re lucky, we live to become more conscious of our self-maintenance in an effort to keep moving forward as long as life is worth that effort. 

On a strange but related topic, I became aware in the last few days that I have now actually outlived Mario Bava, who died three months before his 66th birthday; I will turn 66 slightly more than two months from now. It’s a sobering insight into how young he actually was, despite his many achievements; but time is relative. He was obviously feeling and looking more than his age, winding things down at 65, turning the family business over to his son. It’s not the same for me; I am still becoming what and who I want to be. I have no son and still feel there is much to accomplish, to put in order, to learn and enjoy. 

Here’s to us all - may we find and keep the will and ability to claim what remains within our reach!

(c) 2022 by Tim Lucas. All rights reserved.

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